Family & Relationships

Want more useful ideas to improve your relationship?

80 ways to show her you care


1. Ask her directly what makes her happy. Listen, remember those things, and give them to her regularly without being asked.

2. Tell her she is beautiful and always will be in your eyes. Do this often.

3. Write a love note and leave it on her pillow. It doesn’t have to be a long letter, just a simple note.

4. If she’s a mother, remind her what a wonderful parent she is and how much you appreciate that.

5. Buy her some sexy lingerie, a bottle of champagne, and hire a babysitter to take the kids out for the evening if necessary.

6. Handle one of her daily chores for her without being asked.

7. Listen when she needs to talk

8. Plan a weekend getaway to a romantic destination and handle all of the details.

9. Learn and apply healthy and mature relationship behaviors, especially when the going gets rough.

10. Bring her coffee or tea in bed in the morning.

11. Contact one of her best friends from out-of-town and arrange to have her visit for a weekend as a surprise.

12. Always speak highly of her in front of others.

13. Get tickets for the two of you to go to a show she will love, even though it might not be your favorite.

14. Slow dance with her at home for no reason.

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15. Stop what you are doing if she needs to speak with you and give her your attention — or ask her to wait until you can give her your full attention.

16. Eat breakfast with her.

17. Ask her about the details of her day, her work, even some of the boring minutia.

18. Show genuine pride in even the smallest accomplishments.

19. Be silly with her. Find ways to make her laugh with you.

20. Get her input and ideas, even in areas that aren’t her expertise.

21. Ask her what she likes in bed and give it to her.

22. Tell her what you like in bed and ask her for it.

23. Show real intimacy and connection in bed through loving words, tenderness, and touch.

24. Be respectful to her parents and kind to her siblings.

25. Give her a back rub or foot rub without being asked.

26. If you have children, be a kind, loving, and active father.

27. If you are going to be late, call.

28. Take a bath or shower with her.

29. Be an old-fashioned gentleman. Hold the door. Help her with her coat. Offer your seat.

30. Stay in shape. Take care of yourself.

31. Find a balance with your work and home life. Don’t let work take precedence over your relationships.

32. Take her for a long walk and just talk.

33. Suggest enrolling in a fun class together — ballroom dancing, pottery, golf or tennis lessons.

34. Be patient when you are teaching her something new that she doesn’t understand.

35. Take the initiative to invite friends over for dinner, and help prepare it and clean up after it.

36. Go for a his and her massage.

37. Watch an erotic video with her.

38. Manage your own stress so that your worries don’t impact your relationship. Figure out how to do this before you get overwhelmed.

39. Get up early with the kids and let her sleep in.

40. Make up the bed a few times a week.

41. Develop good male friendships and encourage her to spend time with her friends.

42. Don’t stonewall. Speak honestly and reveal yourself to her.

43. Apologize when you should.

44. Exercise together.

45. Invite her to create mutual goals and a vision for your life together.

46. Have a passion. It makes you more attractive.

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47. Allow her to do it her way, even if you think your way is better.

48. Buy her something she admired in a store and surprise her with it.

49. If you need her to stop doing something or to do something differently, ask her kindly without put-downs.

50. Have a dream together — for a great vacation, a new home, whatever. Plan and work toward it together.

51. Buy her flowers sometimes.

52. Get her car washed for her.

53. Reminisce with her about wonderful events and occasions from your past.

54. Be willing to try new things that she suggests.

55. Suggest new things yourself.

56. Invite her to a baseball or football game with you.

57. Remember her birthday, your anniversary, and Mother’s Day and do something special for her, even if it’s small.

58. Surprise her with a real adventure — a hot air balloon ride, a white water rafting trip, a snorkeling trip.

59. Go to a museum or art gallery with her.

60. Be creative with your sex life. Try something new, in a new place, at a different time.

61. Buy her a pair of beautiful dressy shoes. Women love shoes.

62. Take her to a champagne brunch.

63. Say yes when you’d rather say no.

64. Learn to manage your anger if you have a problem.

65. Be appropriately generous with your friends and family. Pick up lunch or dinner on occasion.

66. Dress nicely. Pay attention to your appearance and hygiene.

67. Light candles.

68. Be the first to make up.

69. Turn off the TV and play some great music instead.

70. Call her just to say you are thinking about her.

71. Show interest in her ideas and interests.

72. Let it go sometimes. It’s probably not worth fighting about.

73. Have a beautiful photo taken of the kids or the two of you and give it to her framed.

74. Buy her a book by an author she loves.

75. Hold her hands.

76. Go on road trips, and stop the car as soon as possible if she needs to go.

77. Initiate real communication and sharing with her regularly.

78. Be willing to be vulnerable with her.

79. Smile at her when you see her, the way you did when you first met.

80. Show her you love her in some small way every single day.

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