As I was doing my morning routine, it occurred to me that very often, I am my own worst enemy, my own saboteur And as I recognized areas in my own life that needed “fixing”, I knew that this was not only needed for me. So as we prepare to close out this first half of the year, here are 5 practical ways that can help you stop being your own worst enemy and kick self-sabotage in the butt once and for all!
1. Accept Personal Responsibility.
Many people self-sabotage by playing the blame game. For example, with COVID-19 keeping most of us in lockdown, it is easy to permanently move into your fridge! Stocking your pantries with junk food and eating recklessly every single moment as people binge on Netflix is becoming the “new normal”. But just because it is happening so frequently does not make it YOUR chosen reality.
So, basically, one way in which we sabotage ourselves is by refusing to take responsibility to what happens to us and then shifting the blame on others. External forces–such as other people, COVID-19, the government, and life circumstances–can be partially responsible for your failure to get what you want. However, in the end, it’s your choices and your actions that will determine the consequence.
Stop playing the victim and take back control of your own life.
2. Recognize Self-Defeating Patterns.
What do you do to stop yourself when you start getting close to achieving what you want? In other words, what’s your self-defeating behavior? Maybe, you do the following:
⚠ Instead of working on what’s most important, you obsess over unimportant details. Perfectionism is self-sabotage in disguise.
⚠When things seem to be speeding up you get scared and pull back. You decide that you need to take another course, maybe read a few more books on the subject, or consult with yet another expert or guru, before you can move forward. Sound familiar?
⚠ When the alarm rings in the morning, you find yourself hitting the snooze button over and over again. Oversleeping is one way to avoid taking the risks that are necessary so that you can achieve what you want.
⚠You get moody and very irritable and find yourself “barking” at those around you. PS, I love dogs!
⚠ You concentrate on secondary projects–most of it “busy work”– and you focus on tasks that you could easily be delegating.
Once you’ve identified how you sabotage yourself, you can be on the look-out for these behaviors. Then, when you spot yourself acting in self-limiting ways, make sure to stop and redirect your attention or task that is more meaningful.
3. Change Your Story.
We all have a past. We all have a history. We all have things that were done to us. We all have stuff that makes us sick to the bone when we think of it.
The stories that you tell yourself about what has happened to you, and what you’ve done, create your self-image, or how you think of yourself. Those stories may be getting in your way and holding you back from your true purpose.
Keep in mind that the worst stories–the ones that will really keep you down–are those that make you feel shame and guilt. You may be holding yourself back in an effort to “make up” for something you feel you’ve done in the past.
Get professional help if you haven’t already but please do not allow yourself to remain stuck.
4. Identify Negative Beliefs.
Sit down, grab a pen and paper and think about an important goal you’ve set for yourself. What thoughts pop into your head when you think about your goal? Maybe you think something like the following:
1. Negative thought: “There’s no way I can achieve that.”
Reframe: “I’m going to have to work hard to achieve this goal because it’s important to me and I’m ready to do what it takes.”
2. Negative thought: “If I fail I’ll never be able to show my face in public again.”
Reframe: “Failure is evidence that I tried to make a better life for myself. There’s no shame in that. I will keep on trying anyway.”
3. Negative thought: “It’s just not for me. I do not deserve it”
Reframe: “I’m a good person and I do good by others. I deserve to be happy and realize my dreams.
Don’t just give in to what your inner saboteur says to you. Instead, be ready with your counter-arguments.
5. Raise Your Feelings of Self-Worth.
The higher your self-worth, the more you’ll feel that you deserve to have the things you want. And the more deserving you feel, the less likely it is that you’ll sabotage yourself.
One way to raise your self-worth is to take inventory. Sit down and ask yourself questions like the following:
✅What good have I done?
✅How have I helped others?
✅What am I proud of?
✅What have I contributed to society?
The worthier you feel, the more likely it is that you’ll allow yourself to push on and achieve more of what you want and desire.
July is almost here! Quarter 2 will soon be done DONE and DUSTED! Do you desire a MID-YEAR RESET? Do you desire to “catch up” on your 2020 and make the most of the last 6 months of the year? Then instead of being your own worst enemy, work on becoming your greatest ally. Uncover your inner saboteur, and escort it out of your life. If you feel that you need assistance to help you break through the mental blocks and create the life you dream of and desire, I recommend taking a look at our Personal Transformation Mastery course.
Access the course by using this link